The beginning. St. Jude's. Childhood.

Maybe some day I will get better/more creative with blog titles. I bet if I get out the markers...


Let's rewind to age eight, that's a lot of rewinding in case you don't want to do the math.  I started to see these little red bumps. I remember hollering to my mum that I had the chicken pox again. She didn't believe me at first, which was understandable, as I just had them twice. I was hoping there was no "little pink pill", otherwise known as Benadryl, in my near future. A doctor came in. He said these aren't the chicken pox. These are petechia. Sounds like an animal, no? Or distant cousin to the Chia Pet. Do you remember those? Do they even make them?  The tone got serious. I remember looking around the room knowing something was awkward, but not knowing what to say or do. Then came questions about fevers, bruising, headache, fatigue. Bruising, that was a good one. I was constantly bruised. A tomboy.With multiple brothers. In a dress. It had to be a dress. "We need to do some testing." Pretty certain those were the words that put the mum worry gene in full force. We came back a short time later and it was determined I had Leukemia. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia to be exact. I kept thinking that I somehow needed to magically learn how to drive, because I was scared to get in the car with my mother. Fortunately, they had a counselor and she was able to calm down. It was a long walk home otherwise. I remember far more details than I original thought. It's a bit comforting, in some sort of weird, nonsensical way.

Let's fast-forward and shorten the sequence of events, into something shorter than a frickin' novel Dawn, cmon. If you are still reading, Hi :) I started chemo and did not respond as well as they hoped. Actually, I was barely responding at all. Granted, I was very sick. I felt awful. I had lost my hair. On that note, secretly I thought that part was kinda cool. When else do you get to see the shape of your head? Never, that's when. I wanted everyone to have a shaved head. Not because it was traumatic for me, but because it intrigued me. I tried to picture everybody bald. Try it for a day. It can be immense amounts of fun. They soon realized that my Leukemia was resisting the chemo and they weren't really sure what to do. It also spread into my nervous system, so radiation began as well. My doctors (yes I can call them mine. I had them wrapped around my positive little fingers) had been talking to St. Jude's and decided that they would be more equipped to deal with the resilience. They couldn't have been more wonderful to me or my family. You are treated exactly how I wanted. No one treats you like a baby. You are just ill and receive medical treatment, but you enjoy yourself as much as possible. The kids always had to cheer up the parents. It's true. There are no words that I could ever say that would express the gratitude to St. Jude's and their staff. They treat the kids with respect. They make sure the families are as comfortable as possible. They go above and beyond anything you can fathom. Most of all, four years later I left. With new bone marrow and in remission, with an even bigger spirit than I went in with. Which I am told was next to impossible. After all, I am really good at testing the limits of impossible. I am stubborn, almost to a fault. I know. I'm aware. I think it's only gotten worse, or better depending on your definition.

Even as an adult, they still mean the world to me. After all, I have them to thank for my life. They were first, anyhow :) I try to put on at least one fundraiser a year, regardless of how I am feeling. It goes way beyond that. People walk in St. Jude's thinking 'well maybe I can inspire someone today' but in reality, end up walking out being more inspired than they could ever imagine. Ask anyone who has been. Tough athlete. Musician. Professional wrestlers. You could take someone from any profession and that statement would still hold true.

If you ever get a chance to visit, attend a fundraiser, volunteer, draw a picture/write a letter, or have a spare dollar or two, please think about donating.